February 25th, 2006.

2.20am

Just finish watching "The Conquerer's Story" on SCV Ch55. Something creep into my mind. As we know the history is normally written by the victor, no one knows what the process was. What if a certain thing was not said or done by a certain person. Would that have changed history and the whole world? I think it is the same for today's world. Someone great like the late Mr Rajaratnam, has just pass away peacefully. He had made changes to Singapore that no other man had. If there is someone out there who can do the same in the future, that would be great. But with the increasing disasters, especially those man-caused, that someone maybe lost. That particular person, whether he or she, could have invented or founded something. Perhaps a cure for a certain terminal disease, perhaps a law that could change the world and perhaps... anything! And thus the chance of that particular future is lost. Forever. So I wonder why do certain things happen? People do not think about their future? Just about the present and care about the past. Why riots? Why bombings? Why because of religious differences? Why because of cartoons? Why terrorism? Why? Why? Why?

If someone knows anything about these, please post a comment or get my contact. Thank you.

Off to bed. "Pondering" Good Night Singapore.

11.45pm

Just had a 40 minutes bath. Long time since I had such a long bath. Do not know why, but suddenly got very "emo" today. Took some time to read the papers when I got home just now. There are a couple of pages at the Home section of today's Saturday Times that I wish everyone to go n read. It is about a great man, a great Singaporean, Mr Rajaratnam, whose state funeral I went to today.

The Esplande's 1,600 seater Concert Hall was filled nearly to the brim, with about 1.400 family members, friends and guests. I went in with little prior knowledge of this great man. But after sitting in the hall for 3 hours and after 4 men's eulogies, I got to realize why some many people come to respect him. Although I saw some people dozing off and some kids giggling, the whole atmosphere was solemn and deep with grief. Mr LKY cried when he was completing his last sentence. What could have make a man like him cry in front of national TV? The last time which I can recall a similar case was back to 1965, when we are separated from then, Malaya. What would have become of all of us if the separation had not happened? No one knows.

When we recited the pledge to end of the state funeral, there was a whole new meaning to it, to me. I believe most of people whole were presented, felt the same. We knew why it was written and what it hope to achieve. By reciting it for the past 10 years of my uniformed education, there was no particular meaning. And now, there is. But reciting the pledge, we are keeping Mr Rajaratnam's ideas and dreams alive.

"He never lost his temper at his fellows or subordinates." This was what most of the people said of him. For a person who is involve in some leadership positions, I am guilty of losing my temper on numerous occasions. For me, I think it is a very difficult thing to do. I will try to change. He is someone who have the utmost respect from people who knows him. I hope that I can be that too.

"How one is remembered during the last days of one's life is what death is really all about." Mr S. Rajaratnam in 1991. Reflect back, I know a lot people. I have 900+ contacts in my phone book. I wonder is how will my end be like? People often ask me why be so concerned by how people view me. I have many other friends to turn to. But I replied, "I am what I am today, with this amount of friends, is because I care."

After the state funeral ended, we went to lunch at Suntec with NPSU. And to Bugis, to accompany Victor to collect his CPU. Played Photohunt in the arcade. Did not had a good time. Do not know why. Emotional thoughts and feelings. All the songs that I heard today were all very emotional and sad. That is why music is described as the voice of life. The song that I wish to recommend is "You're Beautiful." by James Blunt. I know this song is quite old already, but I do not know why. But it feels my mood and I like it.

Still have not continue to write my resume. Do not have program tomorrow. Hope to couch potato and complete it soon. See ya Singapore.