I think i can kind of put it into words.
i was talking to my mummy last night. I think it is the pressure that i felt when you put me at the first and foremost. if you did not, i felt so. because i know for now, i cannot do that. i only know that now it is better for everyone to look into their future and do what they want to do. truly want to do. life is too short to be... for lack of a better word, restricted. yes. everyone always believed that they have some one or something to answer to, be it the system, parents etc. but that is not good enough. nobody can tell you who to be or what to do. yes. some may say, parents give birth to you, you have a responsibility. the system empowered you, enriched you, educated you, you have a responsibility. so when do you do something for yourself? I am not being a cynic or skeptic. to an extent, do what you must and do what you want. i am sure the people who gave birth wants their get to be what they can be or at the very least, happy. my mummy once told me this, "i can give birth to your body, but i cannot tell you what to do or what to think. you have to make your own decisions."
there was this conversation recently about a 40 years old friend who was sharing how he would not want to get into a relationship with a girl in her 20s. All the wants and needs are just too much.
there was this other conversation about how 2 different relationships were similar yet not the same.
1) An Asian girl in her early 20s dating a Caucasian male, also in his early 20s. Both of them are at a stage of their life, that they need to think about how they want their future to be like. Asian girl with her family and career. Caucasian male with a bright sporting career. Not mentioning that there is an ocean separating them, they know what they must do. yet it does not make it any less painful. Would had been better for them to meet 10 years later?
2) An Asian girl in her early 20s, falling in love with a Caucasian male in his 40s. The Asian girl studies at where the guy works. where ever he works at, which ever country he decided to stay, she follows. Of course it is difficult for the girl. but looking at it, the relationship has a better chance of flourishing, no? of course putting aside the gender. be it the former is a guy and the latter is a lady, would it be any different? So it is the better time to meet, if you want a happy ending?
a couple of years will go by, do you really want to sit and watch your life go by?
at these times and age, everyone have something that they want to do or accomplish. climb a mountain. build an empire. have a billion dollars. save a forest. have an everlasting love.
times flies. everyday people die. children get birth into this world. do you really want to stand still?
would it be better if we meet later on in life?
